either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize