Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
