I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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