Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She bit a glass in half.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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