I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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