Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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