not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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