Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize