im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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