i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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