so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
