remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
