8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize