He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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