we have pet lesbian snakes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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