Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
