I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
