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I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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