I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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