when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Couch. On fire.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
