I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
