Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
