please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
