I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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