; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's always time for handjobs
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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