soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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