clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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