Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
