I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
