no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
