Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
