i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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