You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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