I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
