we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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