i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex