I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago