doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
