i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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