she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
