Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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