sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
