I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize