I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
