Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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