If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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