I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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