dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
