I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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