How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
