I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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