I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
