How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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