I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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