Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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