Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
