i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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