I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
